Category Archives: Squibs

Letter to Cottonelle Marketing Department

Posted on October 30, 2015 by Liza Blue

Dear Cottonelle Marketing Department: Positioning toilet paper as something other than an everyday commodity must be a challenge. Do you promote softness, or maybe strength, or somehow combine the two, all the while dancing around the taboo subject of body … Continue reading →

Posted in McSweeney Rejects, Squibs | 4 Comments

The Woman in Front of Me with a Sign on Her Back at the Writer’s Conference

Posted on October 24, 2015 by Liza Blue

Two rows in front of me, slightly to the right, the woman was wearing an oversized purple T-shirt emblazoned with the word “WRITER” on her back. We were all writers at this local conference, or at least we thought we … Continue reading →

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Ear Ye, Ear Ye

Posted on October 14, 2015 by Liza Blue

“Let’s see what we’ve got here. The chart says that you don’t like your ears. Are they too large, too small, lopsided, what can I do for you?” “It’s my earlobes. I’ve always hated them. They’re just too big.” “Let … Continue reading →

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Dear Lady at the Crematorium

Posted on September 10, 2015 by Liza Blue

Dear Lady at the Crematorium, Thank you very much for the tour of your facility. I was trying to minimize my father’s “final expenses,” so I appreciated your unpretentious office behind the Harley Davidson dealership. Last year when my mother … Continue reading →

Posted in McSweeney Rejects, Squibs | 1 Comment

A Kinder, Gentler United Airlines

Posted on June 3, 2013 by Liza Blue

We received a very remarkable phone message the other day from the local library, informing us that a book that I had checked out had been returned by United Airlines. Apparently, I had left the book on the plane, and … Continue reading →

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Pet Care Rationing

Posted on November 8, 2011 by Liza Blue

Health care rationing for family pets has struck me as an interesting contrast to the emotional and unsolvable issue of health care rationing for humans.  Pet owners routinely make budgetary decisions on when to put a pet down, or how aggressively … Continue reading →

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The 25 Hour Day

Posted on November 7, 2011 by Liza Blue

Tonight we turn our clocks back, and the general consensus is that everyone should enjoy an extra hour of sleep.  While true when I was in college, it hasn’t quite been the blessing ever since.  When I was in medical … Continue reading →

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Oh So Clever

Posted on March 20, 2011 by Liza Blue

When I think of the word “clever” I think of a particular kind of intelligence, one that implies a problem solver, i.e. the ability to find an efficient work-around for an obstacle.  Additionally, the work-around typically involves a fresh approach, … Continue reading →

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Dogs Smell Poo

Posted on March 3, 2011 by Liza Blue

My friend Marion gave me a little news article about harnessing the power of the dog’s extraordinary nose.  We are all familiar with dogs that can sniff out bombs, cocaine and other contraband, but now there is a dog that can … Continue reading →

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Landmark Study for Dogs

Posted on March 1, 2011 by Liza Blue

Yesterday I saw an ad for Purina dog food that touted a “landmark” study claiming that Purina Dog Chow “extended dogs’ healthy life by 2 years.”  The word landmark  caught my eye since this term is well known in human … Continue reading →

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