Category Archives: McSweeney Rejects

Open Letter to Publishers of The New Yorker

Posted on January 21, 2020 by Liza Blue

Dear Publishers, I am writing to request a special type of subscription.  I’m willing to pay full price but please only send me every other issue.  The time commitment of a weekly New Yorker would be beyond my grasp and … Continue reading →

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Open Letter to Sol Hurok

Posted on May 9, 2018 by Liza Blue

Dear Sol Hurok, I know nothing about you except that you are an impresario.  I really don’t know what an impresario is except to say, “It’s someone like Sol Hurok.”  The words Sol Hurok and impresario have been tattooed on my brain … Continue reading →

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Podcast: Vindictive Snack Mom

Posted on April 18, 2018 by Liza Blue

A mother strikes a blow in solidarity for all the discontented snack moms out there! Follow Liza Blue on: Share:

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Open Letter to the Children of Robert McNamara

Posted on January 15, 2018 by Liza Blue

Dear McNamara Children, This is a belated apology.  I have been meaning to set things straight, but the right moment never materialized, and now it has been over 50 years.  However, my guilt came flooding back as I watched the … Continue reading →

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Open Letter to Stephen Hawking

Posted on February 1, 2017 by Liza Blue

There is one thing humans have relied on, well beyond the standard cliché of death and taxes.  It is the universal standard of a second as an enduring constant across cultures and time.  Some extremist with a jittery trigger finger … Continue reading →

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Open Letter to the Neighbor Who Put a Bag of Dog Shit in My Purse

Posted on August 30, 2016 by Liza Blue

Dear Neighbor, First of all, I would like to sincerely apologize for my dog.  It was an entirely innocent mistake, but I also realize how you might have misconstrued the situation. We had just arrived at our cabin after a … Continue reading →

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Dear Kid on My Son’s Soccer Team

Posted on July 5, 2016 by Liza Blue

Dear Kid (number 9 I think) on my son’s soccer team, This apology has been gnawing at me for almost 20 years.  You see it was me, I was the one who slipped a lemon into your half time snack of … Continue reading →

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Dear Caitlyn Jenner

Posted on June 21, 2016 by Liza Blue

Dear Caitlyn Jenner, I am a woman whose biologic, gender and sexual identities are comfortably aligned in the dominant fashion, but am ready, willing and trying to embrace the full spectrum.  I have made a lot of progress.  I accept … Continue reading →

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Dear Mr. Manfred, Major League Baseball Commissioner

Posted on April 25, 2016 by Liza Blue

Dear Rob Manfred, Major League Baseball Commissioner It is the beginning of baseball season, and I couldn’t care less.  This is astonishing to me since I grew up surrounded by baseball.  My mother taught me how to throw a baseball … Continue reading →

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Open Letter to Dos Equis Beer

Posted on April 6, 2016 by Liza Blue

Dear Dos Equis Beer, I am writing in regard to your recent announcement that you are retiring your spokesperson for your “Most Interesting Man in the World” beer campaign.  I am excited by this opportunity to refresh your image.  For … Continue reading →

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