Monthly Archives: October 2015

Letter to Cottonelle Marketing Department

Dear Cottonelle Marketing Department: Positioning toilet paper as something other than an everyday commodity must be a challenge. Do you promote softness, or maybe strength, or somehow combine the two, all the while dancing around the taboo subject of body … Continue reading

Posted in McSweeney Rejects, Squibs | 4 Comments

Starry Night

In our suburban house there is no such thing as a dark night. Even on a perfectly moonless night my husband’s sleeping body is clearly outlined by the delicate hues of light pollution seeping north from Chicago. Through the window, … Continue reading

Posted in Nature | Leave a comment

The Woman in Front of Me with a Sign on Her Back at the Writer’s Conference

Two rows in front of me, slightly to the right, the woman was wearing an oversized purple T-shirt emblazoned with the word “WRITER” on her back. We were all writers at this local conference, or at least we thought we … Continue reading

Posted in People Sitting in Front of Me, Squibs | Leave a comment

Ear Ye, Ear Ye

“Let’s see what we’ve got here. The chart says that you don’t like your ears. Are they too large, too small, lopsided, what can I do for you?” “It’s my earlobes. I’ve always hated them. They’re just too big.” “Let … Continue reading

Posted in Squibs | Leave a comment